Hi Everybody!

I wanted to say a quick hello. It is 11:30 at night here, and I didn’t want another day to end without touching base.

I have been suffering from a form of irrelevance. Basically, I have been having a hard time coming up with something that I think is relevant to write about. It is so easy to think that it has all been said before. It has, hasn’t it?

So why am I writing? I enjoy it. I hope to find a way to convey and connect through the written word. What do I want to convey? I would like to convey my thoughts, feelings and observations about this life, both personally and professionally. What is the connection that I seek? I would like to attract thinking and feeling individuals who want to make a difference in this world and laugh while they are doing it. If you would like to share your thoughts, feelings and observations, please post or email me at zohreh@piurek.com. Have a great day!

President Obama needs our support

I was talking with a colleague yesterday, and they mentioned that President Obama is visiting Arizona today. I wanted to learn more about the purpose of his visit, and so I did what I always do when I want to learn about something, I Googled. I came upon an article discussing Senator McCain’s disappointment in President Obama’s handling of the stimulus package.  As I read the article further, I become increasing disappointed myself.  Why?

It saddened me to learn that our leadership is publicly chastising each other as the American people wait expectantly for them to work together to bring real and immediate solutions to our current financial crisis.  Ironically, the major criticism was that President Obama had taken a partisan approach, thereby failing to bring consensus among the parties.  Now, I am no politician.  I am not even an avid follower of our political process.  Yet, I am a passionate student of all things related to leadership, and in reading about McCain’s reported disappointment of Obama right before his visit to Arizona, I knew we were in trouble.  I know that the Country is watching with great hope and expectation.  I know that when our political leaders publicly report their displeasure with their peers, they undermine this country’s faith in their abilities to work together for our greater good.  I saw a lead this morning on the Arizona Capital News homepage stating “At a Feb. 17 news conference, GOP. Sens. Jon Kyl (left) and John McCain faulted Democrats for the mortgage crisis that led to the economic meltdown. Kyl and McCain spoke to reporters at Arizona State University West in Glendale.” 

This further supported my opinion that our leaders need to “collaborate, not alienate” each other.  I think the lead in above is good old fashioned mudslinging.  It is the Democrats fault that we are in a mortgage crisis.  Well, as an American citizen, I can say with all confidence that I don’t care whose fault it is, I care about how we are going to fix it.  Yes, I realize that we need to learn from our past mistakes.  However, I haven’t found public mudslinging to be an effective learning tool.  What is helpful?  I believe it is collaborating together to come up with real solutions. 

If we are going to paint a house, we might sit together for hours deciding what color to paint it.  If we have different opinions, we may look at all the options and meet on repeated occasions before we decide what color to use.   However, if the house is burning down around us, we are going to RUN to put it out.  We are going to work together, rapidly and with a singular focus on solving the problem. 

How does this all relate to leadership and President Obama needing our support?  Leaders always need our support to be successful.  However, when they are managing a crisis, they especially need it.  Conflict over party lines or any other line is not helpful.  It erodes our team’s confidence in us.  Somewhere in your life, there is a leader who needs your support.  As we come together and collaborate for solutions that are bigger than ourselves, we create success. 

So, I say, let’s support our leaders and let’s start with President Obama.  Let’s hold onto hope and believe that positive change is not only possible, but it is happening.  We all need to be a part of it.  Today, there is something that each of us can do to create positive change in our life and the lives of those around us.  Maybe it is calling someone recently laid off to check in on them, writing a political leader to convey support, or saying an encouraging word to someone who is in despair about our economy.   There is something that each of us can do to make this day a brighter one.  For me, I say that I am proud and grateful to have a President that is doing everything he can to bring positive change.  You have my support.

Leading in times of adversity

We are waiting.  We are waiting for times to get better.  We watch updates on the news about the stimulus package, and we hope.  We hope that our leaders will have wisdom.  We hope that they will act quickly.  We hope that when they act, it works. 

Your team is waiting on you.  They are waiting for you to notice the work they do.  They are waiting for you to ask their opinion.  They are waiting for you to reassure them that they will have a job next month, and they wonder.  They wonder if you will have your job next month.  They wonder if they will have their job.  There was a time, not too long ago, where they may have asked themselves if they wanted their job.  Yet, those days are temporarily forgotten.  Now, they are most likely grateful to have a job.

How do we lead in times of adversity?  I learned my biggest lessons related to this when managing what seemed to be a sinking ship (metaphorically speaking).  I was brought into manage a failing operation.  After being there a short time, it became apparent that the operation may be shut down.  There was a period of several months where the staff was unsure as to whether they would have jobs in the near future.  The operation was in the press regularly.  There was much “talk” in the community about the contract and whether it would continue to be funded. 

In the midst of all this, we needed to perform.  We still had a job to do, even if we weren’t sure for how long.   What did I do?  What did I learn?

Well, I let them wear blue jeans.  Yep, that is my big tip for leading in times of adversity – find out what you can do to support your team and do it.  Now this involves a few underlying principles:

1) Talk to your team.  Tell them everything you can.  Each organization has a culture and approach about sharing information.  You will need to act within yours.  However, share as much information as you can.

2) Be honest about what you can control and what you can’t.  Your staff needs to know that they can trust you.  If you are going down the rapids with someone, you want to know they can handle a boat.  As you are open with them about what you can impact, their trust in you increases.

3) Find out what matters to them.  Small stuff makes a big difference.  In fact, during times of adversity, the small stuff can be even more important.   When staff are unsure of the future, knowing that you care and are doing what you can to support them makes a BIG difference.  

4) Act.  Your team wants to know that you can take swift and competent action.   If you are at sea, in a storm, who do you want at the helm?  During the tough times, your staff needs to have confidence in your ability to take whatever action is needed to bring success. 

So, why blue jeans?  I talked to my team each week, the entire team.  I told them everything I knew about what we were facing.  I shared what I knew, didn’t know, what we were doing and what we were trying to figure out.  I thanked them for their support during these tough times.  I reassured them that I would continue to share everything I knew with them, and I did.  I asked them how I could support them, and you guessed it – blue jeans.  They wanted casual Friday everyday.  Working for wise leaders myself, upon hearing the request, they approved it. 

I wish I could tell you that the contract didn’t end and the operation didn’t have to close.  Yet, it did.  Unfortunately, the cycle of organizational life has its sad endings as well.  However, what I can tell you is that the team was supported during adversity, that we worked together, and that together we did what needed to be done.  

I wish you and your team great success in weathering the economic storm upon us.  Things will change. Things will get better.  Together, we can all navigate through these stormy waters.

What Kind of Team Member Are You?

We have touched on this theme in other blog entries.  However, it is such a critical question, I think it warrants a dedicated blog entry.  My last team entry discussed the question, “Would you want to work with yourself?”  The question  “what kind of team member are you?” brings up the same need for insight.  Can you step far enough away from yourself to answer these questions objectively? 

The truth is that most of us lack keen insight into the challenges we bring to others.  How can we overcome our own blind spots?  You now, I am not quite sure.   Here are some ideas…

1. Complete self-assessments related to leadership and team and openly study the results.

2. Ask a trusted adviser their views. Explain that you are developing your own team member growth plan (i.e. a plan to help you be the best team member you can be).  Ask them what they see as your strengths and areas that it would be helpful to focus on improving.

3. Learn more about what makes a team great.  Learn the core competencies of a great team member and develop a plan to hone your team member skills.

4. Observe team members that are valued for their contributions and membership on the team.  What common denominators do you see?

These a just a few to get stared with on the journey to becoming a great team member.  I think the more insight we have into our own team performance and relationships, the more accurately we can focus our efforts on growing in this area.  Of course, insight is necessary but not sufficient.  We must take action and evaluate the results as well.  It is through this cycle of insight, plan, practice and evaluation that we can grow as team members. 

First we have to understand that our endeavors will never be fully successful, until we are able to fully contribute as team members.  In the end, this is about much more than getting “our” job done. It is about:

• Understanding and embracing the organizational mission
• Building and maintaining productive relationships with our boss, team members, vendors and customers
• Being organized and delivering
• Communicating respectfully, clearly and often
• Stepping up to help our team members
• Being adaptable and flexible

Of course, it does also include getting our job done and done well.  As we all show up to be contributing team members, we accomplish great things together.

Let’s Have a GREAT 2009!

Today is January 2, 2009.  Yeah!  A fresh start for us all.  I had the opportunity to hear John Maxwell speak several years ago.  I have always loved his leadership books and was excited to hear him speak in person.  As with his written works, his leadership talk was simple and profound at the same time.  He is on my list on heroes.  He is such a prolific writer and for me, he demystifies the art of leadership.  Back to my point about January 2, 2009.   John Maxwell said that he takes a week off to reflect and prepare for the new year.  I think this is a fantastic idea.  I haven’t made it for an entire week yet, but I do take time each year to reflect on the past year and to think about my priorities for the coming year. 

I love that a new year brings a fresh start.  Actually, I love that each day brings a fresh start.  To be most accurate, each moment brings a new opportunity to create what we want.  I think it is all about what we do with that new moment, new day or in this case, new year. 

I know there is a lot of talk of resolutions and if they are helpful or not.  Unfortunately, many of us feel that our resolutions end up in the dust bin of life on January 3rd.  Yet, there is something magical about stepping back and answering the question: “What do I want to be different in this new year?”  Often we focus on letting go of things like smoking, excess weight and other things we associate with a “bad habit” of some type.  However, we can also reach for our dreams in the new year.  Do you want to be a pilot, an artist, make new friends, go to school, switch professions? The world is open to us, if only we are open to ourselves, to the inner voice that whispers of our desires. 

Too often in our professional life, we have followed the beat of someone else’s drum.  Our path of school, job search and career positions are so often related to what others thought would be good for us or what we thought would be secure.  We often find ourselves doing what we think we have to do, rather than what we dream of doing.  Yet, it is not true.  We can do whatever we want to do.  Does this mean we should all stop what we are doing today with no thought of security?  Probably not, unless your parents don’t mind you moving home at any age and you are comfortable being there.  No, it is the plan that can lead to our liberation from an unfulfilled life.  First the dream and then the plan.  So, for 2009, let’s dream together.  Let’s plan together and let’s go for it! I think one of the best sayings of all time is: “If not now, when?”  If not this year, what year?  So for 2009, these are my recommendations for a GREAT year.  Let’s do it together!

1. Take time to reflect on the coming year.  What do you want for yourself, personally and professionally?  DREAM BIG!

2. Develop a plan for 2009 to reach that mountain top (aka BIG DREAM).  Include the small stuff in your plan too — it’s about anything you want to transform in your life.  It can be super small or super big. It’s all important.

3. Take time to SHOW UP in 2009.  Showing up involves being physcially, emotionally, mentally and soulfully there for yourself and others. To borrow from the Army, it is about “being all you can be”.  This involves something different for all of us.  For me it is about making the time to meditate, go to yoga, swim, study inspirational things, study new things, write, spend time with my family and my dogs, cultivate personal and professional friendships and eating lots of living foods.  Each of us has our own formula for “being all we can be.”  This becomes the foundation of everything else. If we can’t show up, we can’t climb the mountain.

4. Find your support team and avoid the dream crushers. Find people in your life (both people that you know today and new people) that inspire you, support you and are going for their own dreams.  Hang out with them, lots.  Avoid the dream crushers — don’t share your dreams with people full of fear.  Although, they mean well, they will only slow you down or stop you all together on your climb up the mountain.  If someone starts to tell you all the reasons that something won’t work or isn’t possible, watch out. Does this mean that you should never consider counsel that doesn’t agree with your ideas? No, having expert counsel and advisors is important.  What we are talking about here is protecting your dreams from fear — both your own and that of others.

5. Keep the dream alive.  This is the most important step. Find a way — somehow — against all the odds, to keep your dream and your plan alive. Do something everyday that reminds you of what you REALLY want for this year and how you plan to get it. Revise you plan daily to reflect real life, but keep it going. Take time each day, each week, each month to look at where you are and where you want to be. Just keep going…you’ll get there!

Well the world is waiting for us. Let’s go for it!  Have a GREAT 2009!

Where oh where have my ideas gone?

Hi! I have lost my ideas! I need a muse.  I sit down to write a blog entry, play around with several different titles, delete them all and say to myself, “I will try another day”.  Of course, the days have gone by and still no inspiration about what to write, not even the small things.  So, today I am writing about not knowing what to write about, showing that there is always something to say. Now whether it is something worth saying, that is a different matter.

I just thought of something to say — do I erase everything above and start over?  Since I need to check about 100 email before I leave the office this morning, I think I will just keep going.  So, here it is…

How can we help each other be positive and solution oriented during the tough times?  There is so much focus on what is not working related to our fiscal climate and the related impact on health and human services, that fear and worry abound.  Now, I am not saying that there is focus without cause.  Times are TOUGH and we have to focus on how to survive them.  It is the worry and fear without hope and related action that I think we need to avoid.  I think it is about:

• Sticking together.  How can you help someone today? Who do you need to reconnect with at an organizational, professional or personal level?
• Remembering how amazingly resilient we are as human beings.  History shows us that we are built for survival.  It also shows us that being prepared, working together and having an optimistic outlook make all the difference.
• Be willing to let go of things you thought were important. Whether professionally or personally, tough times call for adaptability.  Things that we hold dear often do have to be let go of to protect the heart.
• Stay informed.  Don’t get all you information from the nightly news.  While the full story is challenging, sound bites on the news are down right depressing without giving us the big picture.

I am going to sign off for now.  I am not sure if I ran out of ideas or my email is calling or a bit of both.  I am here for you, and I appreciate you being connected to me through my blog. Please let me know if I can be of service.  Why am I here for you when I don’t know you? I am called to serve.  My purpose is to help others and make a difference.  When I write, it isn’t to a nameless crowd, but to someone that is real – you! Have a great day!

Would you want to work with yourself?

Interesting, huh?  Let’s start with me.  Would I want to work with me?  I will list all the reasons that I think I would and all the reasons that I think that I wouldn’t.  Then we can check the balance sheet.

Would:

I’m friendly.

I’m inclusive.

I care about other people.

I help team members when they need help.

I am committed to the big picture and the overall mission, not just my piece of the pie.

I care.  Did I say that already? I care A LOT.

I like to laugh.

I give other people credit for their work.

I don’t gossip.

I have skills to offer the team. I am a contributor.

I take accountibility for what I do, don’t do and everything in between.

I am a person of integrity.

Would Not:

I can be overly controlling about “how” something gets done as well as lots of other little and big things.

I often dominate a conversation, talking more than listening.

I sometimes interrupt people.

I can be too particular, spending time on “making things perfect” rather than accepting it as “good enough” and moving on to the next thing. 

Being overly particular also leads to being overly critical of the way others do things (i.e. asking them to revise things that really are okay, they are just not my way of saying something, etc.)

I don’t like limitations. 

I don’t like being told no (obviously the ultimate in limitations).

I can be overly focused on the job at hand and forget the human element.

I can bring so much structure to things that I kill the creative spirit.

I can keep people waiting (either for an appointment, when I get on the phone when working with them, or for something they need from me, etc).

Balance Sheet:

Plus: Caring. Contributor. Mission driven.

Minus: Overly focused on self. Overly structured. Overly particular.

What does your list and balance sheet look like? More importantly, what do we do with our lists? I do think self-awareness is mega-important.  We need to take time to think about the impact we have on those around us.  What is it like for our boss to supervise us? What is it like for our team members to work with us?  We can get so caught up in the task at hand and so entrenched in the ideas that we have about ourselves (either good or bad) that we fail to see: 1) what kind of contribution we are making to our team and to our organization; 2) what we are really like to work with day in and day out; and, 3) what a BIG difference we do make.

I think it is this third point that we miss the most, the BIG difference that we make.  What you say, don’t say, do, don’t do — someone is greatly impacted.  Most often, lots of someones.  We don’t yet know how to be really open with each other. This means that it will be your co-worker’s best friend, close colleague, or partner that hears about what it is like to work with you.  We so often tell other people about what bothers us about working with someone.  This means that it will be rare, if ever, that your co-workers will tell you when something you do bothers them. If you do hear about it, stop everything and listen.  The person that stepped forward is taking a risk.  We know people that don’t like negative feedback; this means that we are often hesitant to give it.  Sometimes people tell us in the form of a joke.  Sometimes they gossip behind our back.  Sometimes that share it with someone they trust to try and figure out how to make it better. Other times, they just keep it quiet and let it eat at them.  If we are fortunate, they let it go or tell us directly. 

This means that it is up to us to ask and answer the question: would you want to work with yourself?  It is up to us to be self-aware and to take the path of growth.  As with so many things in life, it is about mastery rather than an event.  I have been working on “not interrupting” for 12 years.  I have been working on “not gossiping” for about 20 years.  Do I interrupt and gossip less? Absolutely.  Have I obtained perfection? Absolutely not.  It is a journey.  I want to be there for my team, for my clients, for my community.  I want to make a difference.  I also want to accept myself and my own journey, personally and professionally.  The cake is never baked on this thing we call life.  No matter what we do for a living, we can learn more, do more.  No matter what team we sit on, we can show up in a greater way for our team.  The real question then is not “would you want to work with yourself?” but “do you care what it is like to work with you?”  If you do care, than you will observe yourself, ponder on what you learn and jump on the growth path.  I say JUMP.  If you are already on it, I say HELLO to a fellow traveler.  It is great to be awake and aware.  We are connected to each other.  What we do does make a difference.

When is the last time you had a singular focus?

^{Okay, you know how this goes.  I ask you a question, but I am really asking myself.  The last time that I have had a singular focus is…Now.  I am focused on writing this for you.  Really? Okay, not really.  I had a few stray thoughts while I was writing this to you.  The text for this entry looks smaller than it should be.  I am getting drowsy and want a snack; I am back from getting the snack now.  How many posts should I write today?  Focus is pretty tough stuff.  I love the saying “its like herding stray cats.”  That is what it feels like trying to focus sometimes.  Actually, this is what it feels like most of the time.} 

^{So, why am I writing about this today?  I decided that it is time to stop swirling and feeling pressure.  Moreover, I decided that it is time to help my team do the same.  I recognized in myself a tendency to use every spare moment (and the ones that are taken too) doing the absolute most that I could.  You know what I mean.  I check emails while I talk on the phone.  I schedule phone calls during my drive time.  I try to fit in as much as I possibly can each minute of the day.  I hate to pass up any project, internal or external, always wanting to do more, be more, meet new people, learn new things and just plain be involved.}  

^{It runs much deeper than our technology tools that allow us to “reach out and touch someone” 24/7.  I remember in college spraining my ankle when I was reading a book while walking down the stairs.  I have always wanted to fill up each minute of life with a much as I can.  So, back to my decision yesterday that the swirl and the pressure had to stop.  I have had enough of having too much.  I am tired of having more to do in a day than can possibly done.  I have spent a great deal of my professional life helping people get things done, and I LOVE this.  Some people get excited by art, new gadgets, sports, and new ideas.  I get excited about organizing and creating movement.  I love to project manage new initiatives, and while much sadder, I even feel purposeful in helping organizations close programs or downsize when needed.  I feel an adrenaline rush when I get to put together 100s of documents and stacks of binders and coordinate really complex initiatives.  I make sure that I tell any CEO who will listen that I can help them organize their work space because I LOVE having all of their documents and systems to organize.   Of course, I spend lots of time talking to leaders about how to do more.  It is usually about trying to fit 100 hours of work in 60 hours, or something variation of that.}

However, for me, I have decided that I don’t want to do it anymore.  I want less, not more.  I want to to focus SINGULARLY.  I want to focus on the QUALITY and OUTCOME of my action rather than run around like a hamster on wheel, always trying to get somewhere — but staying in the same place. I decided to do this today and guess what?  It is HARD.  As I do one thing, I think of a bunch of others. As I talk to a team member about one project, I want to talk to them about 3 more.  I teach others how to be great leaders and yet, I find as I look around that I continually ask more and more of my team while giving them very little time to FOCUS on what I have asked. For me, it was a wake up call.  The call said FOCUS and allow your team to FOCUS.

Did I have success today? I think that I have.  This morning I set my daily priorities (I told you that I love to organize).  I picked three priorities and agreed if anything else came up that I would triage it.  If it couldn’t wait, I would add it to my list.  If it could, it would go on a parking lot for consideration tomorrow.  I have completed two of my three tasks.  One new thing came up that I felt needed to be added; I added this to my list and completed it.  Everything else waits for tomorrow.  This isn’t where the dramatic difference came though.  After all, most of us have tried ump-teen ways to prioritize our tasks.  It was in the quality of interaction.  It was in the discipline of singular focus.  It was in taking time to breath, to center, to think about what I was doing and to allow myself to do only that particular thing in that particular moment. Try it.  It will blow your mind, or actually, it will free your mind from pressure, stress and swirling.  It is about bringing the NOW concepts so often talked about in a variety of spiritual paths into the work place.  It is allowing yourself to be in the moment, doing what you have decided is a priority in the moment.  Like so many other things in life, it is about a mastery process, rather than an event.  Would you like to join me in taking up this journey? The journey of SINGULARLY FOCUSING on doing what you are doing in your work life?  If so, I would love to hear your ideas and how it is going.  Which reminds me, I would like to send a BIG thank you to all of you emailing me and calling me to tell me you are reading my blog and getting something from it.  As I have shared in posts and when we have spoken, it still feels risky for me to be so open and honest in this forum, so your encouragement means so much. 

So, when is the last time you had singular focus? What does it matter. That is the past.  The real question is: What are you focused on NOW?

 

Have you ever seen a bird with a sugar packet?

I have.  In fact, I saw a bird carrying a sugar packet this afternoon.  I walked out of a Japanese restaurant, a very good one for those of you in Phoenix, AZ, Shiro at Shea and 32nd.  As I was walking to my car, I noticed a small brown bird (not a really tiny small bird, but much smaller than a crow).  So anyway, I notice that this bird is hopping around with a natural sugar packet in his or her mouth.  I know it was a natural sugar packet, because that is the kind that I like to use (the brown ones with ”raw” sugar).  I stop walking to watch the bird.  My business and life partner, Jeff, is with me.  He notices that I have stopped to watch the bird.  I say, “hey look, that bird has a sugar packet in it’s mouth”.  He is not nearly as interested in me, but he also stops to watch the bird.  We notice that the bird has now put the sugar packet in water and is turning it over and over in the water.  Jeff says, “he is doing that on purpose to get the sweet out.”  I say, “really, do you think so?”  I keep watching the bird and sure enough, it starts pecking at the sugar packet to break it open.  If definitely looks like the bird got the packet wet on purpose, so it would open more easily.  Seeing this, Jeff says, “that isn’t the first sugar packet he has had.”  I am not quite ready to leave, but I walk away then. 

So, a few things happened.  It felt good to connect with the bird.  Even though she didn’t notice me, I noticed her.  For a moment in my day, I was aware of my surroundings.  Secondly, I thought to myself, “birds must be smart.”  You know, I have never thought of the brain functioning of a bird until today.  I was going to come up with a third point, but somehow two seems sufficient for a story about a bird and a sugar packet. 

Have you seen anything in your environment that you would like to share? I would love to hear about it.

How is a great leader made?

We talk a lot about leading these days.  I do anyway.  I am not sure how much everyone else thinks about it.  I think about it everyday.  I wonder how I can be a better leader.  I wonder what makes a great leader.  Can Harvard professors and others dissect it into a formula that anyone can follow?  These days, I mainly think about how I can help leaders succeed and how I can help aspiring leaders be just that — leaders.  Of course, that takes me to the age old question of whether leaders are born or made.  I have come to believe that while many a leader is born, that they can be and often are made.  Now, does this mean that every person can become a leader?  Yes!

After all, think about what “lead” means:

To show the way to by going in advance. (www.answer.com)

 While a “leader” is:

One that leads or guides. (www.answer.com)

It is my hope that we can all lead and guide ourselves and others to a better place.  The body of literature and research on leadership attests to its importance in our lives.  I thought that if I learned enough about leadership that I would find THE ANSWER.  The question being, “How do we become great leaders?”  Two things happened when I tried: 1) I learned that there are more books on leadership than I can read in a lifetime; 2) As I read, I learned that I am not going to find THE ANSWER, but rather multiple views on what people THINK the answer is, meaning lots of people have lots of ideas on what makes a leader great.

The books are written by really smart people; they seem really smart to me when I read what they have to say.  A lot of them are backed up by what seems like solid research.  So, why have we not found and agreed upon THE ANSWER? 

Well, I am playing around with the idea that one answer does not exist.  What if there are many paths to becoming a leader?  There must be, right?

I think the most important component for becoming a great leader is this: The desire to be a great leader.  It is our desire for leading others well that takes us to the starting point of our journey.  From that starting point, I think we find the information and approach that best suits us.  So in the end, it isn’t about one size fits all.  It is about the lifetime leadership journey.  That’s right – lifetime.  We continue to grow and master leading for as long as we chose to stay on the learning path.  To me, that is how a great leader is made – one self aware step at a time.