Question #3: Why do they call it work?

Okay…let’s ponder this.  Why do they call it work?  We could call it passion pursuit, funness (my new word for the week), life purpose activity, meaningful action, adventure.  We don’t though. We call it W-O-R-K.  Which I think means it is hard. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like getting out of bed when the alarm goes off in the morning.  Did I just admit that?  I didn’t mean it.  I spring out of bed with joy, ready to face the day and my life work.  Okay, let’s leave it tangled and vague and sign off on the question for now.  So what do you think? Why do they call it work?

 P.S. I think I need to change the category to question of the week or step it up here.  Let’s see how the rest of the week goes.

About Question #2: How can we REALLY stop judging ourselves and others?

Okay, time to get back to question 2, How can we REALLY stop judging ourselves and others?  Let’s free associate as I do not have profound insights popping up at the moment. 

 I have a confession to make.  I free associated a few paragraphs, read them, judged them and deleted them.  So, how do we REALLY stop judging ourselves and others. Beats me! I want to live and let live.  I feel like a compassionate individual.  The problem comes up (the judgement problem) when someone does something that I find annoying and hurtful. Okay, I admitted it.  I get annoyed and I get hurt.  In my professional life?  Well…yes.  Don’t you?  I know–it is Zohreh’s blog, you don’t have to answer that.  I am not sure if annoyed is the right word, maybe frustrated. 

I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I want to accomplish more.  I want to connect in a more genuine way with others.  I want to accomplish what I feel is my life purpose, and I find the old ways of thinking won’t get me there.  Part of the old way of thinking being to approach my relationship with self and others with judgement present (though I don’t like to admit this since I am committed to NOT JUDGING OTHERS).

It is amazing to think that we are all roaming around on this planet with different ideas about what is good and bad, right and wrong, fun and boring.  We have different favorite colors, songs, foods.  Some of us like to laugh, cry and get messy while others like to stay calm, be dignified.  How much more amazing if we met each other with awe for a different perspective or approach rather than — you got it — judgement. 

I am feeling a lack of clarity around this question, meaning–I don’t have answers.  I only know to keep trying.  To keep remembering it is not my way that is the way, not even the way I think it should be for me.  I am who I am.  Others are who they are.  We come together to accomplish great things.  To the degree we approach each other with respect, kindness, positive regard — that is the degree that we can connect, that we create positive energy that leads to positive results.  I think I will come up with an easier question next time.

About Question #1: Why is it so hard to love unconditionally?

So, let’s start with our question — Why is it so hard to love unconditionally?

I became interested in this question about 15 years ago.  I was working on my Masters of Social Work and spending a lot of time thinking about why so many people were suffering and how I could help. 

My search led me to this:  One person can make a difference.  Changing the world really does start one person at a time and we can each choose to be that person or not.  Unconditional love has the power to transform each of us and elevate the human condition. For me, this meant that our situation was not hopeless.  What appeared to an overwhelming, hopeless situation — immense suffering that I could not impact — became something that I could participate in changing.  Essentially, I could make a difference; I could make this difference by loving others unconditionally, by choosing to be that person that reaches out to help another when they are suffering. 

This was important for me at the time, because the pain and hopelessness surrounding me was leading to an internal crisis.  I was questioning whether I could be involved in the field of social work and instead started thinking that I had to find someplace of beauty to hide, perhaps an Art Museum or a flower shop.  So–self inquiry and philosophical and spiritual searching led me to these answers and provided me with the peace and hopefulness that I needed to stay connected to those around me.  

I have spent the past 15 years in pursuit of unconditional love.  Although I personally believe it would be much nobler to be focused on unconditionally loving others,  I find that I have been in search both of receiving and giving unconditional love.  This brings us full circle to our question: Why is it so hard to love unconditionally?  I have spent 15 years looking for unconditional love in myself and others, but I do not think I have experienced it, either in myself or others.  There are glimpses — in a Mother’s love, between two partners with a deep bond, when on person reaches out to help another.  Yet, the conditional seems to pop up so quickly.  I did this for you, what are you doing for me.  You are doing this to yourself, why should I help you or am I hurting you by helping you.  I have helped you x times, yet you have never thanked me.  I love you, but do you love me in return.  I see a theme in myself, a theme that blocks this powerful trans-formative power called unconditional love — a focus on myself and judgement of others.  So, there is my answer for question 1. 

Now for question 2…

Let’s love deeply and laugh loudly. Z