Would you want to work with yourself?

Interesting, huh?  Let’s start with me.  Would I want to work with me?  I will list all the reasons that I think I would and all the reasons that I think that I wouldn’t.  Then we can check the balance sheet.

Would:

I’m friendly.

I’m inclusive.

I care about other people.

I help team members when they need help.

I am committed to the big picture and the overall mission, not just my piece of the pie.

I care.  Did I say that already? I care A LOT.

I like to laugh.

I give other people credit for their work.

I don’t gossip.

I have skills to offer the team. I am a contributor.

I take accountibility for what I do, don’t do and everything in between.

I am a person of integrity.

Would Not:

I can be overly controlling about “how” something gets done as well as lots of other little and big things.

I often dominate a conversation, talking more than listening.

I sometimes interrupt people.

I can be too particular, spending time on “making things perfect” rather than accepting it as “good enough” and moving on to the next thing. 

Being overly particular also leads to being overly critical of the way others do things (i.e. asking them to revise things that really are okay, they are just not my way of saying something, etc.)

I don’t like limitations. 

I don’t like being told no (obviously the ultimate in limitations).

I can be overly focused on the job at hand and forget the human element.

I can bring so much structure to things that I kill the creative spirit.

I can keep people waiting (either for an appointment, when I get on the phone when working with them, or for something they need from me, etc).

Balance Sheet:

Plus: Caring. Contributor. Mission driven.

Minus: Overly focused on self. Overly structured. Overly particular.

What does your list and balance sheet look like? More importantly, what do we do with our lists? I do think self-awareness is mega-important.  We need to take time to think about the impact we have on those around us.  What is it like for our boss to supervise us? What is it like for our team members to work with us?  We can get so caught up in the task at hand and so entrenched in the ideas that we have about ourselves (either good or bad) that we fail to see: 1) what kind of contribution we are making to our team and to our organization; 2) what we are really like to work with day in and day out; and, 3) what a BIG difference we do make.

I think it is this third point that we miss the most, the BIG difference that we make.  What you say, don’t say, do, don’t do — someone is greatly impacted.  Most often, lots of someones.  We don’t yet know how to be really open with each other. This means that it will be your co-worker’s best friend, close colleague, or partner that hears about what it is like to work with you.  We so often tell other people about what bothers us about working with someone.  This means that it will be rare, if ever, that your co-workers will tell you when something you do bothers them. If you do hear about it, stop everything and listen.  The person that stepped forward is taking a risk.  We know people that don’t like negative feedback; this means that we are often hesitant to give it.  Sometimes people tell us in the form of a joke.  Sometimes they gossip behind our back.  Sometimes that share it with someone they trust to try and figure out how to make it better. Other times, they just keep it quiet and let it eat at them.  If we are fortunate, they let it go or tell us directly. 

This means that it is up to us to ask and answer the question: would you want to work with yourself?  It is up to us to be self-aware and to take the path of growth.  As with so many things in life, it is about mastery rather than an event.  I have been working on “not interrupting” for 12 years.  I have been working on “not gossiping” for about 20 years.  Do I interrupt and gossip less? Absolutely.  Have I obtained perfection? Absolutely not.  It is a journey.  I want to be there for my team, for my clients, for my community.  I want to make a difference.  I also want to accept myself and my own journey, personally and professionally.  The cake is never baked on this thing we call life.  No matter what we do for a living, we can learn more, do more.  No matter what team we sit on, we can show up in a greater way for our team.  The real question then is not “would you want to work with yourself?” but “do you care what it is like to work with you?”  If you do care, than you will observe yourself, ponder on what you learn and jump on the growth path.  I say JUMP.  If you are already on it, I say HELLO to a fellow traveler.  It is great to be awake and aware.  We are connected to each other.  What we do does make a difference.