Where oh where have my ideas gone?

Hi! I have lost my ideas! I need a muse.  I sit down to write a blog entry, play around with several different titles, delete them all and say to myself, “I will try another day”.  Of course, the days have gone by and still no inspiration about what to write, not even the small things.  So, today I am writing about not knowing what to write about, showing that there is always something to say. Now whether it is something worth saying, that is a different matter.

I just thought of something to say — do I erase everything above and start over?  Since I need to check about 100 email before I leave the office this morning, I think I will just keep going.  So, here it is…

How can we help each other be positive and solution oriented during the tough times?  There is so much focus on what is not working related to our fiscal climate and the related impact on health and human services, that fear and worry abound.  Now, I am not saying that there is focus without cause.  Times are TOUGH and we have to focus on how to survive them.  It is the worry and fear without hope and related action that I think we need to avoid.  I think it is about:

• Sticking together.  How can you help someone today? Who do you need to reconnect with at an organizational, professional or personal level?
• Remembering how amazingly resilient we are as human beings.  History shows us that we are built for survival.  It also shows us that being prepared, working together and having an optimistic outlook make all the difference.
• Be willing to let go of things you thought were important. Whether professionally or personally, tough times call for adaptability.  Things that we hold dear often do have to be let go of to protect the heart.
• Stay informed.  Don’t get all you information from the nightly news.  While the full story is challenging, sound bites on the news are down right depressing without giving us the big picture.

I am going to sign off for now.  I am not sure if I ran out of ideas or my email is calling or a bit of both.  I am here for you, and I appreciate you being connected to me through my blog. Please let me know if I can be of service.  Why am I here for you when I don’t know you? I am called to serve.  My purpose is to help others and make a difference.  When I write, it isn’t to a nameless crowd, but to someone that is real – you! Have a great day!

When is the last time you had a singular focus?

^{Okay, you know how this goes.  I ask you a question, but I am really asking myself.  The last time that I have had a singular focus is…Now.  I am focused on writing this for you.  Really? Okay, not really.  I had a few stray thoughts while I was writing this to you.  The text for this entry looks smaller than it should be.  I am getting drowsy and want a snack; I am back from getting the snack now.  How many posts should I write today?  Focus is pretty tough stuff.  I love the saying “its like herding stray cats.”  That is what it feels like trying to focus sometimes.  Actually, this is what it feels like most of the time.} 

^{So, why am I writing about this today?  I decided that it is time to stop swirling and feeling pressure.  Moreover, I decided that it is time to help my team do the same.  I recognized in myself a tendency to use every spare moment (and the ones that are taken too) doing the absolute most that I could.  You know what I mean.  I check emails while I talk on the phone.  I schedule phone calls during my drive time.  I try to fit in as much as I possibly can each minute of the day.  I hate to pass up any project, internal or external, always wanting to do more, be more, meet new people, learn new things and just plain be involved.}  

^{It runs much deeper than our technology tools that allow us to “reach out and touch someone” 24/7.  I remember in college spraining my ankle when I was reading a book while walking down the stairs.  I have always wanted to fill up each minute of life with a much as I can.  So, back to my decision yesterday that the swirl and the pressure had to stop.  I have had enough of having too much.  I am tired of having more to do in a day than can possibly done.  I have spent a great deal of my professional life helping people get things done, and I LOVE this.  Some people get excited by art, new gadgets, sports, and new ideas.  I get excited about organizing and creating movement.  I love to project manage new initiatives, and while much sadder, I even feel purposeful in helping organizations close programs or downsize when needed.  I feel an adrenaline rush when I get to put together 100s of documents and stacks of binders and coordinate really complex initiatives.  I make sure that I tell any CEO who will listen that I can help them organize their work space because I LOVE having all of their documents and systems to organize.   Of course, I spend lots of time talking to leaders about how to do more.  It is usually about trying to fit 100 hours of work in 60 hours, or something variation of that.}

However, for me, I have decided that I don’t want to do it anymore.  I want less, not more.  I want to to focus SINGULARLY.  I want to focus on the QUALITY and OUTCOME of my action rather than run around like a hamster on wheel, always trying to get somewhere — but staying in the same place. I decided to do this today and guess what?  It is HARD.  As I do one thing, I think of a bunch of others. As I talk to a team member about one project, I want to talk to them about 3 more.  I teach others how to be great leaders and yet, I find as I look around that I continually ask more and more of my team while giving them very little time to FOCUS on what I have asked. For me, it was a wake up call.  The call said FOCUS and allow your team to FOCUS.

Did I have success today? I think that I have.  This morning I set my daily priorities (I told you that I love to organize).  I picked three priorities and agreed if anything else came up that I would triage it.  If it couldn’t wait, I would add it to my list.  If it could, it would go on a parking lot for consideration tomorrow.  I have completed two of my three tasks.  One new thing came up that I felt needed to be added; I added this to my list and completed it.  Everything else waits for tomorrow.  This isn’t where the dramatic difference came though.  After all, most of us have tried ump-teen ways to prioritize our tasks.  It was in the quality of interaction.  It was in the discipline of singular focus.  It was in taking time to breath, to center, to think about what I was doing and to allow myself to do only that particular thing in that particular moment. Try it.  It will blow your mind, or actually, it will free your mind from pressure, stress and swirling.  It is about bringing the NOW concepts so often talked about in a variety of spiritual paths into the work place.  It is allowing yourself to be in the moment, doing what you have decided is a priority in the moment.  Like so many other things in life, it is about a mastery process, rather than an event.  Would you like to join me in taking up this journey? The journey of SINGULARLY FOCUSING on doing what you are doing in your work life?  If so, I would love to hear your ideas and how it is going.  Which reminds me, I would like to send a BIG thank you to all of you emailing me and calling me to tell me you are reading my blog and getting something from it.  As I have shared in posts and when we have spoken, it still feels risky for me to be so open and honest in this forum, so your encouragement means so much. 

So, when is the last time you had singular focus? What does it matter. That is the past.  The real question is: What are you focused on NOW?

 

Question #3: Why do they call it work?

Okay…let’s ponder this.  Why do they call it work?  We could call it passion pursuit, funness (my new word for the week), life purpose activity, meaningful action, adventure.  We don’t though. We call it W-O-R-K.  Which I think means it is hard. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like getting out of bed when the alarm goes off in the morning.  Did I just admit that?  I didn’t mean it.  I spring out of bed with joy, ready to face the day and my life work.  Okay, let’s leave it tangled and vague and sign off on the question for now.  So what do you think? Why do they call it work?

 P.S. I think I need to change the category to question of the week or step it up here.  Let’s see how the rest of the week goes.

About Question #2: How can we REALLY stop judging ourselves and others?

Okay, time to get back to question 2, How can we REALLY stop judging ourselves and others?  Let’s free associate as I do not have profound insights popping up at the moment. 

 I have a confession to make.  I free associated a few paragraphs, read them, judged them and deleted them.  So, how do we REALLY stop judging ourselves and others. Beats me! I want to live and let live.  I feel like a compassionate individual.  The problem comes up (the judgement problem) when someone does something that I find annoying and hurtful. Okay, I admitted it.  I get annoyed and I get hurt.  In my professional life?  Well…yes.  Don’t you?  I know–it is Zohreh’s blog, you don’t have to answer that.  I am not sure if annoyed is the right word, maybe frustrated. 

I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I want to accomplish more.  I want to connect in a more genuine way with others.  I want to accomplish what I feel is my life purpose, and I find the old ways of thinking won’t get me there.  Part of the old way of thinking being to approach my relationship with self and others with judgement present (though I don’t like to admit this since I am committed to NOT JUDGING OTHERS).

It is amazing to think that we are all roaming around on this planet with different ideas about what is good and bad, right and wrong, fun and boring.  We have different favorite colors, songs, foods.  Some of us like to laugh, cry and get messy while others like to stay calm, be dignified.  How much more amazing if we met each other with awe for a different perspective or approach rather than — you got it — judgement. 

I am feeling a lack of clarity around this question, meaning–I don’t have answers.  I only know to keep trying.  To keep remembering it is not my way that is the way, not even the way I think it should be for me.  I am who I am.  Others are who they are.  We come together to accomplish great things.  To the degree we approach each other with respect, kindness, positive regard — that is the degree that we can connect, that we create positive energy that leads to positive results.  I think I will come up with an easier question next time.

About Question #1: Why is it so hard to love unconditionally?

So, let’s start with our question — Why is it so hard to love unconditionally?

I became interested in this question about 15 years ago.  I was working on my Masters of Social Work and spending a lot of time thinking about why so many people were suffering and how I could help. 

My search led me to this:  One person can make a difference.  Changing the world really does start one person at a time and we can each choose to be that person or not.  Unconditional love has the power to transform each of us and elevate the human condition. For me, this meant that our situation was not hopeless.  What appeared to an overwhelming, hopeless situation — immense suffering that I could not impact — became something that I could participate in changing.  Essentially, I could make a difference; I could make this difference by loving others unconditionally, by choosing to be that person that reaches out to help another when they are suffering. 

This was important for me at the time, because the pain and hopelessness surrounding me was leading to an internal crisis.  I was questioning whether I could be involved in the field of social work and instead started thinking that I had to find someplace of beauty to hide, perhaps an Art Museum or a flower shop.  So–self inquiry and philosophical and spiritual searching led me to these answers and provided me with the peace and hopefulness that I needed to stay connected to those around me.  

I have spent the past 15 years in pursuit of unconditional love.  Although I personally believe it would be much nobler to be focused on unconditionally loving others,  I find that I have been in search both of receiving and giving unconditional love.  This brings us full circle to our question: Why is it so hard to love unconditionally?  I have spent 15 years looking for unconditional love in myself and others, but I do not think I have experienced it, either in myself or others.  There are glimpses — in a Mother’s love, between two partners with a deep bond, when on person reaches out to help another.  Yet, the conditional seems to pop up so quickly.  I did this for you, what are you doing for me.  You are doing this to yourself, why should I help you or am I hurting you by helping you.  I have helped you x times, yet you have never thanked me.  I love you, but do you love me in return.  I see a theme in myself, a theme that blocks this powerful trans-formative power called unconditional love — a focus on myself and judgement of others.  So, there is my answer for question 1. 

Now for question 2…

Let’s love deeply and laugh loudly. Z

Question #1: Why is it so hard to love unconditionally?

In thinking about how to think up ideas for the blog, I realize that it is much easier to have a conversation if there are two people involved.  So in the spirit of connection and growth, I would like to propose a question for us to ponder.  Here is is:

Why is it so hard to love unconditionally?  It is so powerful; it transforms, it enlightens, it brings peace, joy and harmony — yet it can be so illusive, so challenging to obtain with even one person in this life.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts and will think about it myself and get back to you soon.